Mentioned on Hive Scum (the ep that’ll be out 11/2) that I’ve hit a bit of a hobby slump lately. Talking my way through problems helps me out a lot, and the boys helped me think things through which was particularly helpful.
My creative world goes through changes, in cycles that last anywhere from 6 months to 2 years - times of intense flow to times of steady ebbs. After seeing this cycle play itself out a dozen or so times I know I have to temper my flow to keep it sustainable, and I also like to chew through my ebbs so they don’t become stagnant.
I’m certainly hitting an ebb - and with this ebb I know what I have to do, I have to make a workflow change to keep it moving, even if it’s more of a trickle for a little.
About a month ago I started feeling it, a backup of home projects, hobby projects, family obligations and professional obligations left me stressed and overwhelmed. I had a little micro-breakdown before bed one night (always when we are tired huh?), and I decided to go to sleep and see what the landscape looked like in the morning.
I realized something the next day. I had been trying my hardest to squeeze it all in. The build-up of ideas became too much, and the intention and focus I enjoy when working in tasks was gone - and left was a feeling of guilt that I was unable to get it all done and make time for my family.
That was the full stop. I couldn’t sacrifice time I could be enjoying family activities to focus on getting stuff done. Also getting 8 hours of rest had an overwhelmingly positive effect on me mentally. So there it was, my solution: slow down, reclaim intention, and give the tasks some space.
For this last month - the hobby has been on the backburner. I found it hard to scrape even a half hour to sit down at the workbench and I reflected on the work I’ve done in the past year. I’ve painted three armies and several warbands, each one created in a unique way, and you know - it felt great to do that.
But I lost something in the massive push.
I lost the love for the individual model.
I lost the love of focusing in on one step in the process, I pushed and pushed and the hobby started to feel like a race rather than a meditation it once was.
Maybe speedpainting over two color zenithal isn't my answer.
So last night I finished my first model I’ve finished in a month. A kitbashed ork for 40k. It felt great, because I took my time. I sunk in and just enjoyed pushing the paint around. Painted a face on the shield, some checks on the gun, hit some places with gloss and did more than just throw flock at the base.
Obviously it is nice to get these big chunky projects blasted through - and even when blasting through, I still make time for the little details, but because I’m flying, there’s a hint of anxiety involved.
So here I am, slowing down a bit. Focusing on the mini in front of me, and living one hobby session at a time.
Slow and steady work always yields more production than expected (the first step is the hardest as they say). My problem is I start steady and healthy and then I set a precedent and try and meet the productivity.
This ain’t going to always happen, especially with a toddler who is my main focus. I’m not always gonna find regular hobby time.
A good hobby friend of mine - Maggot Ian (Echoes of Battle, Portcullis zine), put it perfectly when talking to Enzo, another hobby dad who can’t always find the time to paint or play: “Also easy to fall into all or nothing thinking. Some gaming is better than none.” Same goes for all aspects of the hobby. Sometimes we are gonna get there, sometimes we aren’t.
It’s more important to slow down, do what you can, and enjoy what you are doing.
working on doing this myself. its a tough perspective shift but what's the point in any of this if you are so consumed with trying to do it all that you can't enjoy it?
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